Smell of the season!

There are certain smells for every season.  For example; winter smells are fresh pine, baked cookies, and cinnamon.  Spring smells are lilac, Lilly of the valley, clean cotton... Summer smells would be ocean breeze, roses, fresh fruits and anything tropical.  Fall smells are pumpkin, apple cinnamon, ginger and cloves.  

I'm a lover of anything that smells good.  I want people to come to my house and the first thing they say is how amazing my house smells.  You won't ever come over in the spring and smell pumpkin... That's just weird.  But you will be quick to smell lilac or orange blossoms, Lilly of the valley.  Good smells bring a sense of peace.  Example... This morning at 8am my roommate decided to cook hamburgers for her lunch.  I just got off work and was laying in bed with my "man dime" (see previous post) when I started to smell burnt hamburger... I instantly become super annoyed! I got out of bed went into the living room and the entire place is smokey... And STINKS!  I open windows turn on the fan and proceed to air my house out.  Keep in mind it's a very chilly spring morning, maybe 40 degrees.. So while trying to air the house out it's making it freakin cold as an igloo in here, which only intensifies my annoyance!  Then my boyfriend wakes up and first thing he ask was wtf is that smell..... It's now 9pm and I'm finally not smelling burnt hamburger, but the sweet smell of lilac... Ahh I love spring!!! 

Killing time... Man Dime?

The last 2 hours of work are always the longest 2 hours of my entire shift. All I think about is how in 2 hours I'll going home, shedding my work garb, crawling into bed and cuddling up next to my "Man Dime". Dozing off into slumber land where I dream of Bora Bora. Sipping some fruity drink in the sunshine as I listen to the waves wash up on the beach. Ahhhh yes, that my dear friends is the life I dream of every time I close my eyes. The best part about my dream, is that the man laying next to me is dreaming of the same thing. Yes, these last 2 hours are agony!!! What is a "MAN DIME" you might ask.. Well I will tell you. A MAN DIME is equal to the female "DIME PIECE" which would be what I like to sum up as "The Whole Package". This meaning your man/woman is basically perfect from head to toe. A "Man Dime" or a "Dime Piece" isn't easy to find. We as a human race are far from perfect. There is always that one flaw, be it a scar, a stretch mark, an odd color tooth or a funky toe that goes in an odd direction from the rest. A "DIME" doesn't have to be perfect physically but needs to be pretty close. However, a slight flaw can all be over looked if your person has a personality that far exceeds anyone you have ever met.

Baby Daddy Drama Part 2

So this morning I am so rudely awaken by my doorbell followed by beating on the door like its police. I am not dressed, and when I say not dressed I mean just that I was naked. I had no intention of even answering the door but remembered my son left his basketball shirt in the closet and thought maybe he was there to pick it up before his game. So, I got up put my robe on and went to the door and looked out the peep hole. There standing in all his anger, was my ex husband, my BD. I hollered at him to hold on, ran and grabbed my pink zip up hoodie to put over my robe. I grabbed my sons bball t-shirt and opened the door. I honestly don't recall how the entire conversation went except for telling him to get the F out of here and slammed the door. Now, here is where the problem lies... He was there to pick up our son for his bball game. My son wasn't home because he stayed the night w/ his coach so he would have a ride in the morning. I had text my BD the night before to let him know what time the game was and he never replied. Had he followed through with the texting he would have known the rest of the situation but instead he wanted to be that D-bag he always is. Well not my problem at this point. You should of have text me back. PERIOD! So here is where as stated before everything is my fault. FML! I am a horrible mother because I let my son stay somewhere instead of home. Mind you he is 13. I am a horrible mother because I allowed my daughter to stay at a friends house. Mind you she is 11. My children are social kids, they have a ton of friends. Some of their friends do not go to the same school so on the weekends they would like to go to their friends house. I will not stiffen my children. If they would prefer to be with a friend over me then ya know what go, have fun... They are both A-B students and work very hard and both play competitive sports. I think they deserve some time. Granted I don't get them but on the weekends. I work nights during the week, it is easier for them to be at their dads for school. Summer time its a different ball game. They are with me 99% of the time. So my point behind that last part was... I got slapped with the whats the point of even having your kids if all your going to do is allow them to stay somewhere else. Well first of all SCREW you and Secondly.. SCREW YOU AGAIN. I allowed this man to manipulate my feelings this morning and for the first time ever my boyfriend got to see the BDD and how vicious I can be. He heard me tell that man that I hoped he would die.. today... So in order to save face and not look like a total psycho path, I called the BD and told him I was sorry for the nasty things I said and when he was ready to have a mature adult conversation that he could call me back later and I ended the call. Lets just say I haven't heard from him. I've tried to call and no answer. I tried to text... No answer. GOD he is such a freaking baby.. I mean I said I was sorry!! Remember when I told you that BMD can be far worse... Well he is about to come down w/ a serious case of it....

Revoked

Well it's official, my cool mom card has been revoked.  In the eyes of my 13yr old son, I am no longer awesome.  I knew it would happen... I knew it was only a matter of time before the car dance offs ended, the sing alongs and the robot were no longer cool.  I just wasn't ready for it.  So, here's to the eye rolling, back talking, attitude throwing teenage years... Lord help me... 

Love at first sight?

I pose this question to anyone that may stumble across this blog now or anytime in the future. I am super curious to know how people feel about love at first sight. Do you believe that it can happen? Do you think that its lust at first sight? We are human, and by nature we are visual creatures. We are first attracted to someone by the way they look. We then are suckered in by their personality and all the other stuff. I personally believe that there is no time limit on when you know you love someone. I think being the age I am and the things I've gone through in my lifetime that I should be able to tell the difference between love and lust. I've been in some type of love before. The only love that I knew how to give at that moment in time. It wasn't love at first sight w/ the few that I have really loved, more like lust. Now the reason I pose this question is because a funny thing happened to me at the gas station a few weeks back. I ran into someone that had previously attempted to date me, and it didn't end very well between the two of us. The reason being I was getting over a break up w/ a man that I fought with on a daily basis to allow me to be included in his life. I lost all sense of who I was and what I wanted out of life because if I wasn't w/ my kids or at work, I was at home in my bedroom, wondering if this was the day I was going to be a priority in my boyfriends life? I was a pathetic mess of a human and when this man tried to pursue me, I wasn't having it. I even went so far as cussing him out and that was that. Well I ran into him at the gas station on a Saturday morning. I was looking like a freak show w/ my crazy bright colored zig zag capris. I was walking down the isle to the register and I turned around and there he was. I did a quick double take, and INSTANTLY I felt this rush, this wave of warmth and light came over my entire body. I got very nervous, but I was pretty sure he didn't notice. The lady behind the counter started asking me questions about my dead neighbor,(he committed suicide at a little pond off the parkway, but the oddest part was he shot himself in the head w/ a nail gun, and for the first few days police believed it to be a murder) and I just kept thinking to myself that I wanted to not be talking to her that I wanted to pay attention to this man that has me completely spell bound. We did exchange a few pleasantries, I learned he was going to pick up his daughter which was a few hours away and I told him to drive safe. I got into the truck, and looked in the rearview mirror and said to myself that I was going to get that boy! That I was going to make that boy MINE! Later that day I messaged him, telling him it was nice to see him, and we've been together ever since. This man makes me see things in a whole new light. I am lighter in my step, softer in my talk, and for the first time in my adult life, I am looking forward to the future. I am crazy in love with this man. He looks at me like I am the only woman on earth, and he thinks i'm beautiful and he laughs with me and can be super goofy with me. He wants everything I want in life and wants to achieve them with me. We equally feel the same for each other although he would argue that his feelings are much stronger, but I highly doubt that is even possible. I know with out a doubt in my mind and in my heart that this man was created for me. That he and I were meant to be together. I realize now that in previous relationships I was only in love with the thought of being in love. I am a priority, I am loved and treated like so. I am adored, I am truly the happiest and luckiest woman on the planet! I could only dream of such happiness. I smile so much my face hurts and I want to scream from the roof top that I AM IN LOVE! So back to the question at hand.. Do you believe in love at first sight? ~sls

Baby daddy drama!

If you don't suffer from BDD, I envy you!  It doesn't matter how old you are apparently, because I'm, let's just say I'm closer to 40 then I am 30, and I still have the dreaded BDD!  Seriously I have a teenager and a preteen, why continue to be such a jackass?!   I'm fairly certain he has to get some sort of satisfaction from being a total d-bag!  Now mind you we have been divorced nearly 13yrs, with the occasional on again off again.  Now dont get me wrong I am well aware of BDD's sister syndrome, BMD.  In most cases that can be far worse!  Females are vicious creatures and no matter how small in stature, can really do some damage!!  BDD's most common symptoms are controlling, the lack of understanding and the ever so popular I AM ALWAYS RIGHT.  My personal favorite is the blame game.  Yup I am always the bad guy and everything that goes wrong is my fault... I've embrassed it, I have come to accept that the rain delay at the Royals or the Greenbay Packers lose it's all my fault!  I am that powerful!  I only have a few more years left with all this power... I better enjoy the madness while I can!

Cell phone addiction?

Okay, let me just start by saying this.. I am a confessed cell phone hugger.. meaning that I usually don't stray to far from my cell.  I keep it nice and close and get real irritated when anyone asks to use it.  I spend a lot of time snapping selfies, or taking pics of my kids.  I use to check my Facebook but as stated in previous blog, that is no longer.  Just because I am a hugger of thy cellular device, does not mean that I am co-dependent on the darn thing.  When I am at the dinner table, the #1 rule is no cellphones.  When driving I don't normally touch it.   I can honestly be okay going an entire day  w/out so much as worrying where it is, as long as I know where it is.

The real meaning behind this topic is my friend is a complete cell phone junkie!  I promise you this, she is the best person to tell your secrets to.. I could tell her I was the second gunman on the grass null and that I stole the Lindbergh baby, and she wouldn't tell a soul.... I would like to tell you all that its because she is such an awesome friend and my secrets would go to the grave with her.  Truth is, she would't hear a darn thing I said.  This girl is constantly on her phone.  She has got to be close to the end of the internet... Seriously!  She has logged herself onto these dating websites, and talks to people most of the time, snapping selfies, sending them to her "POF" boyfriend.  For those of you unaware of what POF is it stands for Plenty of Fish.  Its a online dating sight.    She said something to me the other day and I wanted to smack the stupid out of her mouth.  She says that her battery just wont hold a charge and that it HAS to be the cord she uses to charge her phone.  ARE YOU KIDDING... its because you have that thing in your hands scrolling and trolling ALL OF THE TIME!  Give that poor thing a rest and maybe it would.  She drains the battery down to 0% on a daily basis, probably more then once a day.  OF COURSE the battery isn't going to hold a charge!!  In all seriousness I adore this girl, we've been friends for over 25yrs.  We have been through some of the craziest times of my life.  I am learning that as times goes by, that I am becoming second to a dang phone.   There.. I've said it.. I am jealous of that damn phone.  I would like to have that friend back that actually listened to what I had to say.   Instead of staring at her cell phone and glancing up a few times and w/ a generic uh huh or oh.   I would like some real conversation.  I suppose this is the world we live in now, my daughter actually sent me a text from the other room once.  YOU better believe I was all over that not so smart move.    I may put up signs in my home that say no cell phone usage in the building, that its prohibited and violators will be shot on sight!  Well here is to the friends we've lost to the addiction of Cell phones.  May you never lose service and always have wifi!

~sls

Snap Back to reality!

Welcome back to the world of living!! That's what I've been telling myself lately.  I've recently decided (due to a new relationship and not wanting to be "that girl") to delete my Facebook account.  Do you have any idea the amount of free time I am now left with?  I've started a new book, started writing again, my house has NEVER been cleaner, the dishes are done, and the laundry... Well the laundry is still piled up.  Only because I loath doing it!  Like millions around the world, any bit of boring down time I have had was diverted to checking my Facebook.  Who is doing what, who is complaining about who and really, why the hell did I even care.  I suppose its my modern day As the World Turns.  The drama on the book was as juicy as a screenplay at times.  Now, I will admit I have contributed to some of that drama.  I, a time or two, would get charged up about something and for some reason instead of calling a friend and ranting to them I made a status.  This then triggers a reaction and usually a nasty text message from a family member or mass messages in the inbox asking "whats going on."  Usually with in minutes I delete the dramatic post so that I am not to be grouped in with the attention seekers.    Facebook has served its purpose though.  Its kept me in touch with my family that lives all over the globe.  Its allowed me to see cousins grow up that I would normally not see but once every umpteen years.  Its reconnected me with people that I genuinely do care about, and best of all, It connected me w/ the love of my life.  So all in all I can't say that Facebook was all that bad.  I am however feeling a sense of peace with out it.  

With all this free time I am acquiring, I've decided to try blogging.  I'm not real sure on how this is suppose to go, or if anyone will even read what I blog about, but I think I lead a fairly interesting life or have up to this point.  I hope that maybe by chance, that someone reads my blogs and giggles a little or can relate to what I've wrote.  Even if no one ever reads a single word, its going to be nice to just type out my inner thoughts, free my mind of all the junk that has been floating around in my noggin.

Well ladies and gents, this is the start of my journey...   I hope that if you are reading this you stay tuned.  You might just enjoy the ride!

~sls